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Wednesday, 07 April 2010

Currently
Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut
By Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Tom Stechschulte, Jay Brazeau
see related
Looking into Marriage

Being married at 19 is something I would have never thought of when I was 16. Only 3 years ago and I wasn't even looking at getting married, much less, I had just lost my virginity. I was in full experimental mode. So now, I've found the love of my life and I am married. Sometimes I will meet people and the conversation will lead to how I got married. Most of the time people are like "wow, you're so young, did you get pregnant?" What really upsets me about this is because of the fact that so many people that get married at my age, get married because they've gotten pregnant. Why can't people get married for love anymore? I mean there are always other things to factors that should be considered when marrying someone, however, there is so much divorce. Maybe the biggest reason why marriage is failing so much presently is because people get married for the wrong reasons (i.e. pregnancy).

So, when I look at my marriage, and I get afraid, and I ask myself if this was right, I look back at the things that made me marry him. The reason why I know that this marriage will work. Then again, maybe I've calculated the relationship too much, but I needed to be confident. Of all the reasons I married Kevin, the biggest on is because I love him, I will always love him, no matter what. The other things, the advantages to being married to him, the safety of my relationship with him, doesn't matter.

All You Need Is Love- John Lennon

Friday, 02 April 2010

Currently
Stripped
By Christina Aguilera
Impossible
see related
Weird San Fran

So I was in San Francisco today waiting for my dad to pick me up for dinner and to see the musical Wicked. I was waiting between 7th and 8th on market street. There is a really cool fountain there where the pigeons and seagulls come and people feed them there. Well while I was smoking a cigarette and watching the birds and the fountain enjoying the calm breeze. Some guy sits next to me and starts talking to me. I wasn't really startled by this just because it's normal for people to do this in the city. BUT what I didn't expect was what he was going to say (leading to his secret motive!

He started talking and I couldn't really understand what he was saying and he apologized and said he had a strong accent because he was from Africa. Then he starts telling me how he thinks my blonde hair is gorgeous, and that he loves white girls. I smiled and said I was sorry, that I was married. Well he continued on and asked me if I wanted to go get high with him (you should never smoke weed with complete strangers people!) I politely said no. On his conversation went with me (I was barely speaking mind you) He continued to tell me how beautiful I was and how he wanted to have friends like me, how he would treat a girl like me with respect. After about 10 minutes of him saying these things and me nodding and smiling, he said if I wanted to talk to him again he would be right around the corner.

About 5 minutes later I realize, the man was a pimp, and (I'm being completely serious) he was trying to lure me into his lovely little trade.

After my father picked me up and I explained this to him, he explained to me how there's a greyhound station right near there and pimps try to pick up girls there all the time, also when you are sitting around and look like you have no purpose, automatically people zone in on you, almost making you a target.

So yes, today, if I had let myself be the naive little blonde girl that I look, I could have become San Francisco's premier new escort!

Monday, 22 March 2010

Mexican Food, Mexican People, A New Experience.

I want to write this blog, I don't know whether or not it will sound racist but here I go.

I arrived in California yesterday and I had a full full day ahead of me. First of all I got in at like 11:30 and my dad picked me up and we went and had frozen yogurt and a burger in the city. Then we drove like 30 minutes to San Jose and sat in a park for two hours. It was an absolutely gorgeous park plenty of trees and fresh air, warm sun on my back. However there was one thing that I was never really used to. There was a large amount of Mexican people there.

Please note that I was raised in a little suburb full of mostly white and Asian people, but still mostly white, and I never have truly gotten the chance to mingle with a different culture.

So, there were a bunch of different Mexican food carts being rolled around and little kids playing, all Mexican. Well, if you don't know me then you don't know that I love to talk to strangers (my mother didn't do a good job raising me on that aspect I guess.) Well, I decided to have a go and try some food out. First, because it was a hot day, I went and got something very American, a Popsicle, but the issue was that I didn't really get a chance to pick which on I wanted. I asked the man what kind he had and he gave me a strange look and opened his cart and started digging around and pulled out one of those multicolored rocket Popsicles. He then said "ok?" and I nodded my head and handed the money as he gave me this strange look. So I sat down, a little bewildered and ate my popsicle. The I decided to really go for the real food, the REAL Mexican food. So I went up to another vendor and asked her what she had to eat, she didn't understand me so I had to ask some guy my age to translate for me (mind you he won't stop staring at me either) and I eventually get a tostada for me and my brother. It was rather good and rather different from what I was used too. So I sat in the sun and talked with my father and as this translator guy walks past me he keep staring, so I shout "Thank you very much!" and he replies with a kind "you are welcome very much" but as he walks away with his friend he keeps turning around and staring at me every ten feet or so.

So despite the fact that I feel like the translator dude was hitting on me, I found Mexican people to be quite nice but also rather suspicious.

Have you ever had a cultural experience that was really interesting to you? I can't say that my story is really that interesting to you, my readers, but it was rather interesting for this. 19 year old naive blonde.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Currently
Moulin Rouge! (Widescreen Edition)
By Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, John Leguizamo, Jim Broadbent, Richard Roxburgh
see related
Before I Know It

I'll be in California again. My heart and soul may be in Italy with my Husband, but my very essence my being, who I am is in California. I don't think I've ever understood that until now. I find places in Ohio and Michigan (the only other places I have lived) and I fit myself there, but I belong in California. I don't fit with my father and brother there, or any other of my family that currently resides there, it is just the place where my soul finds harmony with the land. I feel connected to it. Is there any place that you feel connected to, more than where you are living now?

San Francisco is my city, Bolinas is my town (thank god they aren't too far apart) I was born in San Francisco, a very windy, bohemian place. With every type of person you could ever dream of. The Culture there is fantastic. The only other place that I have found that I enjoy nearly as much, is Chicago. Bolinas, the town of hippies, surfers and rejects. It is low key and peaceful. The town is small but there is always an adventure to be had, with beautiful mesa's and wonderful people to talk to. I fell in love with this place when I was 12.

I'm hoping I can find belonging in Italy. Where my husband is, for I have to live there for two years! But I feel like the only real reason I found belonging in Ohio is because he was there, arms wide open.

So my question to my readers;

There must be a place in this world where you feel most at peace, that you feel you belong, a place if you didn't have to you would never leave. Even if it is your backyard, a pond, or a whole country, where do you feel you belong?

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Currently
Waiting for My Rocket to Come
By Jason Mraz
Curbside Prophet
see related
Loss of Reality

When it comes to relationships I am almost the best person to come to. Yet when it comes to my own...I suck. I get confused, lost, lonely, sad, and I never know what to do about any of those feelings. I don't know how to cope with issues surrounding it all and sometimes, well, sometimes I veer off the path I've put myself on mentally. I surround myself with this little world that is comforting or even just.....quiet, you know? My imagination is huge, full of fantasies, fast cars, and coral reefs, anything you can think of. Sometime I put myself into this place so that...well, so that I can be alone, or even just safe for a moment. Because, sometimes it is too much to handle. Do I sound crazy? Or is this healthy? Mom calls it checking out. I think I need to check out sometimes, just to survive the pressure of it all, of life.

I've been planning a wedding for the last like...10 months of my life, time is moving fast and soon...I'll either be walking down that aisle, or I won't. If I don't where did that last 10 months go? Also what happens if for some reason I don't go to Italy? (at least not at first) What do I do for the next 5 months? I can get a job....sure. I can write a bazillion apology letters because the wedding plans failed to work out. I could dance my life away....HELL! I could get a goddamn car so I could actually go places without permission. Damn....but still....until this next month goes through it is almost like I have to disappear, into a world of no reality, of fantasy, so maybe.....in the end....things will hit me a little softer....

I'm completely crazy I know.... but wtf else can I do?